DURST: Pending Bills

Where board members of the Burt Reynolds Institute for Theatrical Training have reluctantly agreed to the actor's request to remove his name from the troubled theater. Now if only he can do the same with "Smokey and the Bandit III."The House introduced 3036 bills in the session just ended, and 59 have become law. That's a batting average of .011, definitely below the Mendoza Line. The Senate did worse, 19 for 1568. Hell, even Michael Jordan hit better than that in AA. 35 bills sit on the President's desk waiting for his signature, while more than 30 are just waiting to be delivered. Guess they don't trust the US Mail. 94 proposed amendments to the Constitution ended up deader than a Wyoming haddock failing to garner the necessary two thirds majority in both chambers. Procrastination seems to be our Representatives major talent. Here's just a sample of what looms over us like a flock of nuclear mutated flesh eating vultures.*Abortion: Will attempt to override Clinton's veto and pass the "partial birth" abortion ban. Might get more support if they write in clause allowing special case retroactivity for House Majority Leaders.*IRS overhaul: Senate Finance Chairman William Roth, R-Del., is rumored to have delayed implementation to use as an election theme in 98. And there is also talk that fire is hot.*Tobacco Settlement: $368 billion national tobacco settlement has yet to be passed. Suspicion on its merits erupted when the day after it was announced, tobacco stocks went up.*Fast-Track: Clinton will tinker with bill making it more favorable to labor in hopes of pushing it through in 98. Proponents will claim its passage will insure jobs, but will remain strangely silent on the question of just which country those jobs will be created. Will Durst needs a job.

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