DURST: On Lawyers

You got to love lawyers. The same way you got to love an out of control nitroglycerine truck rampaging into a post prom beach bonfire. A lawyer for Harry V. Mohney, a national porno king refused to answer questions about ownership of two San Francisco nite clubs under permit review by telling the press, "I didn't come here to be interrogated about subjects we weren't informed were going to be discussed." It sounds awfully impressive, doesn't it? Of course, I'm pretty sure what it really means is: "I don't know, and if I did I wouldn't tell you anyway." They have managed to murky the English language to where scuba diving in search of an onyx earring at the bottom of a oil tanker would seem a crystalline endeavor. Any statement which might have even an accidental shred of truth attatched is to be avoided like blue meat. We should pass a law making it compulsory they be taken out and beaten like hollow long pork bongos every time they say stupid crap like this. Or maybe we should just respond to their requests for payment with a dispatch worded to the effect: "You have actuated a subject which I am not prepared to converse." Let them chew on that one for a couple of injunctions. Will Durst would gladly appear at any benefit for homeless lawyers.

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