DURST: Ol' Brillo Haid
You know ol' Brillo Haid has to be happier right now to be speechifying in a foreign country than a maggot attending a high school reunion in a fresh mass grave. He managed to be gone cat gone when rumors of another intern rose like lipstick on underwear and the economy has sunk faster than an anvil in pudding. And although his timing has been impeccable, I imagine he might be rethinking his destination a wee small tad, since the visual coupling of him and Boris Yeltsin brings to mind captions like "Lame Duck and Lamer Duck", and "Lame Duck And Lame Ducker" and "Are We Dead Yet?" His trip isn't a complete success with all our former little Red Friends either. Ultranationalist Vladimir Zhironovsky, a man with the personality of a badger with a barbecue fork stuck in his eye, stopped in front of Clinton's hotel and yelled insults at it. This was nationally televised. Our politicians never yell insults at hotels. Although for all the good they do, they might as well be. It also doesn't help that Bill and Boris are chowing down caviar and vodka while ordinary Russians are eating dirt soup and mud and bark sandwiches. A situation we hope is not reversed when Yeltsin comes to summit over here. Will Durst likes his mud medium rare.