DURST: Nutritional Chernobyl

Most people come to New Orleans for the music. For me its the food. This place is to food what Los Angeles is to silicone. Unless you think cholesterol can kill; and then N'Awlins is an AK-47 with a grenade launcher. The neutron bomb of cuisine. Destroys your internal organs, but leaves the will to drink intact. Nutritional Chernobyl. Every year, my lovely wife Debi Ann and I make a pilgrimage to the same restaurant, order the same thing, and I have no idea what it is. A stick of butter with herbs nearby is my best guess. These people have got grease... down. See, its understood you need to lay the necessary base for the ingestion of vast amounts of adult amber beverages. If drinking were an Olympic sport, the residents of New Orleans would have been banned back around 1752 because they have the amateur status of Carmen Electra. Not only is there no bar time, but all the establishments conveniently offer handy dandy plastic To-Go cups for those of us who can't bear walking the 8 or 9 steps to the next bar sans beverage. Or even driving sans beverage. Its legal to drink while you ride, although officially the driver can't imbibe, but hey, if someone happens to slip him a sip, this is New Orleans, a city so corrupt, Chicago is embarrassed. Disneyland for drunks. For a thirsty boy from Milwaukee, its Nirvana.Will Durst is oiled up and greasy.

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