DURST: Nuclear Golf

You could say golf is a funny game. The same way you could say nuclear warfare is a funny game. The only difference between golf and nuclear warfare is... golf is more important.And you would think that nowhere would they take themselves more self importantly than here at Augusta National, the most cherished and exclusive golf course in America. You would be wrong. This august course is huge, and hence very spectator friendly. And the concessions aren't set up simply for multiple top ten finishers either. Sodas are 75 cents and you can get a very edible barbecue sandwich for a buck and a half.The game played here every second weekend in April is a little different than the one I play. For instance, more things you'll hear in my foursome you'll never hear on the pro tour:- Oh great. Didn't make it past the ladies tee again. Who's got the sunblock?- Where's that twist-off cap I was using for a ball marker?- Closest to the fairway for a buck?- Should I just take a stroke or try a seven iron off that guy's grill?- If they don't want you to drive the cart on the green, they should tell a person.- I think getting rid of Fluff is really going to improve Tiger's game.- Why should I pay for the window? I wouldn't build my house there.- Is that your cell phone ringing or mine?- All right, I'll have another hot dog, but six is my limit.- Uh oh, here comes the marshall. Stash the pipe.Will Durst is assuming we're talking about all the PGA foursomes that don't include John Daly.


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