DURST: No Choice At All

I read about it and saw some clips on the tube, but I still can't believe it happened: Bill Bradley debating Al Gore in round one of seven New Hampshire debates? Did they seal the doors from the outside? Who must I have intercourse with to get the Vivarin concession in this setup? Which do you prefer? Dutch elm disease or narcolepsy. Granite versus marble. "Excuse me sir, would you like some ice on your wood?" The race for the Democratic nomination for President is shaping up to be the most boring since my third grade social studies teacher rammed through Marni Minor as hall monitor on the straight "Because I said so" ticket. Both are stiffer than Jesse Helms on a Gay Pride Parade float and each is so excruciatingly precise in their answers you'd think they were explaining the importance of fire drills to a classroom of Attention Deficit Disorder pre- schoolers. Six more of these policy wonk lovefests with the major contention between the two being one wants to amortize the Social Security cost of living increases while the other thinks a means test might be more appropriate. Together they have the sex appeal of a rusted out propane tank. Yeah, these guys are going to make the general populous forget about Clinton. And the Democratic Party as well.Will Durst is a Pisces Dragon.

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