Durst: Newt's "History" Lesson

You think you know America? You don't know squat until you've heard its grand history through the eyes of Professor Newt Gingrich. Yes, for only four easy payments of $39.95 you'll receive an album of audio cassettes with hours and hours of what at first seems babbling prattle, but on closer inspection is much, much more. It's Newt Gingrich's America. Like the prisoners in Maricopa County Jail who are forced to listen to these lectures, you'll scream with joy when hear the Speaker of the House interpret our past with his unique spin. You'll learn things you never knew. * How this was a pretty good country until the Indians ruined it. * Why the great Flu Epidemic was the direct result of the failed liberal policies of Grover Cleveland. * Which disastrous economic side effects arose from giving women the vote. * Why child labor actually encouraged family values. * How the railroads could have made more money if they hadn't treated their Asian workforce like royalty. * Delve in the personal philosophy of the speaker and find out why nothing in the world will make you feel more like a man than sticking something sharp into the soft side of a pig. You'll hear a rose colored reminiscence of how much better it was way back when. None of which is true but is so comforting as presented in this handsomely bound fourteen cassette compilation. Newt Gingrich's America. You'll never hear it like this again!

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