DURST: Newt Gingrich

House Speaker Newt Gingrich is about to get his wrist slapped with a loosely packed goose down pillow covered in velvet. On Saturday he admitted breaking House rules and causing "a controversy which could weaken the faith people have in their government."Weaken? No, Newt, I think reinforce is the verb you're looking for. Augment. Bolster. Fortify. Support. The Congressional Ethics Committee, one of the more creative oxymorons currently in use, (guaranteed pension and McDonald's nutritional chart are others of note), has charged the Newtmeister with providing it with "inaccurate, incomplete and unreliable information," or in layman's terms: "liar, liar, pants on fire."No one's mentioned that Newt spent most of the last two years insisting he was not guilty of these charges; whimpering and sniveling about how the liberal press was out "to get" him. Maybe he actually deluded himself into believing his own innocence. He could be one of those guys who lies to the press then believes what he reads. Republican colleagues issued a statement saying Mr. Gingrich's admission showed he was a "determined leader capable of learning from his mistakes." Well, if this Evil Dough Boy learns any more, Stephen Hawking may be forced to give up his "Smartest Man In The Universe" award.Will Durst hopes he never gets that smart.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.