Durst: New Speed Limits

"I CAN'T DRIVE 55." Well, the good news, my bucko, is you don't have to anymore. Its pedal to the metal time! Clinton just signed into law legislation allowing individual states determine how fast you are allowed to careen your two ton steel cocoon down the highway. The silly thing is it's easier to find real cartilage in Michael Jackson's nose than anyone doing 55 these days. Go ahead, try obeying the speed limit on a major interstate and you risk getting squashed like a small emerging Central American nation with rich oil deposits. Montana plans to raise the limit to just under the speed of light. Up to now, it was only a five dollar fine for "fuel consumption" as long as you were less than twenty miles an hour over the limit: even though it cost the state of Montana fifteen bucks to process that five dollar ticket. Every year they tried to raise the price of the ticket to at least the cost of processing, and every year it got voted down by the State Legislature, because it's MONTANA DAMMIT. This law also lets states determine the status of motorcycle helmet laws, so maybe Gary Busey can tempt the extent of his indestructibility once more.

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