Durst: New Hampshire Primary

The big New Hampshire debate was the last time we'll see these eight men in dark suits all together at one time and trust me, Hollywood screenwriters are not sitting around crying. It had all the suspense of watching varnish hardening. Four of the eight have never held elective office before and yet they spent most of their time slamming career politicians. Makes you wonder why they're so intent on clawing each other to shreds in order to become one. Bob Dole, the front-runner, looked tired, like it was he who had walked across the state instead of Lamar Alexander. Pat Buchanan had all the subtlety and grace of barbed wire, but held his own even defending the co chairman of his campaign had spoken at white supremacist rallies. Next he'll say Hitler was just cranky. Steve Forbes looked incredibly lifelike. Lamar Alexander continued on his two day slide: first he flunks the grocery test, then he flunks the stand still and quit annoying me so I can't concentrate on anything you say test. Alan Keyes has a great voice. Richard Lugar couldn't make it so Jason Robards filled in. Morry Taylor just wants to sell tires to Mexico and shut all the law schools so he'd get my vote. And what can you say about Bob Dornan except he was pink. The big winner: Phil Gramm.

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