DURST: More Comic Awards
Where were we before I was so rudely interrupted by the drinking of many adult beverages in celebration of my forty second birthday? Oh yeah, we were talking about how this whole award thing is getting ridiculous. So let's keep it going with part two of the Will Durst Thank God They Exist Because I'm A Comic Awards:* ODD TRIPLET AWARD: Ford and Volvo and Jaguar.* THE WHO KNEW AWARD: The cable companies for raising rates by 21 percent despite around the Telecommunications Act which of course they helped to write.* BEST IMPRESSION OF A SLEEPY LIZARD IN SEARCH OF A WARM ROCK: Once again, Sam Donaldson in a sweep.* THE PIXIE DUST AWARD: To all us baby boomers counting on the Social Security System to take care of us when we get old.* THE IT HAS TO BE BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS AWARD: The vegetarian workplace snack from Dilbert creator Scott Adams called the Dilberrito.* BEST CHOREOGRAPHER: For the sixth straight year... Alan Greenspan.* YOU CAN'T MAKE STUFF UP LIKE THIS AWARD: Ross Perot for saying Clinton should resign because he's unstable.* THE ORIGINAL GODFATHER OF SOUL AWARD: to Thomas Jefferson, who it should be pointed out never tried to get Sally Hemings a job at Revlon either.* THE KAHOUTEK AWARD FOR MOST OVERRATED CRISIS: Y2K.Will Durst says why not 2 k?