DURST: Master of the Slice

The fact that the Masters is the arguably the most prestigious golf tournament in the world means everybody takes practice time a tad more seriously than Bill Clinton takes breakfast with Hillary. But I have the feeling that even when these guys are messing around, their game is as different from the one that I play as thoroughbred horse racing is to snails on a track in racing silks. For instance, here are just a few things that you'll hear in my foursome you'll never hear on the Pro Tour:* Aww, what the hell, let these guys play through too.* Do these pants go with this shirt?* This is a par 4? You got to be kidding me.* Which one we shooting at? The red one or the yellow one?* Look at this consistency. 7... 7... 7. And only one of them was a triple bogey.* I'm sorry gentlemen, your money's no good here. This round is on me.* How the hell am I supposed to aim for something I can't even see?* Might as well hit away. No chance of us reaching those guys.* Reach into the back and pick me out a cold one.* I'm just going to whack the crap out of it and see what happens.Will Durst plays military golf. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right.

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