DURST: Less Can Be More
I don't know about you, but whenever I see newlyweds prancing around with their boundless energy, thick hair and firm thighs, I actually feel sorry for them. It's going to take years before they have the slightest inkling of what's going on. There are more reasons that marriage gets easier with age than there are broken chairs in a Jackie Chan movie. As you get older, you come to realize... less can be more. The big things seem smaller and the small things don't even register on the radar. Another reason marriage gets easier is often you can communicate simply through a coded series of shrugs and grunts. For instance, "Enh?" Shrug. "Enh!" Can mean, "What was that?" "Who knows?" "Typical." Your reflexes aren't as sharp, and of course your hearing goes, which allows you to let a lot of things that would have formerly upset you, slide. Like, when you hear this annoying buzzing noise while trying to watch TV: Only the falling of many calendar pages can teach you, ignore it long enough, and it will go away. Sometimes, if fate is willing, you get to wear each other's clothes. However, if you ever find yourselves wearing matching clothes, you know, like identical lime green nylon running suits with orange racing stripes: you should seriously consider seeking professional help. Dr. Kevorkian comes to mind. Will Durst needs help.