DURST: Late Nights with Dad

My parents are coming out to visit next month, and they're going to stay with me. Yeah I know, it's a dream come true. It's been years since we all lived in the same house. And sure they're set in their ways, but they're just going to have to abide by a few simple changes of routine when they stay with me."For one thing, mister, nobody goes to bed before three in the morning. Dad, Dad, wake up old man. This is the shank of the day. Look, here's the scene where Gilligan refuses to get naked with Ginger, again.""Separate bedrooms for both of you. Hey, I don't care what you do when you're on your own, but when you live in my house, you live by my rules.""I want to see hair in that sink. A lot of it. If I walk in and there isn't a regular bush clogging the drain, there will be hell to pay.""Try and sit as close to the tv as possible, and remember there are no meals. Just lots of snacks. Except for breakfast. Beer for breakfast. Finish that Anchor Steam young lady. There are investment bankers in Bakersfield who will kill for a decent brew at this hour."Will Durst knows it's all a pipe dream.

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