DURST: Labor Day

Labor Day is a wonderful holiday where we celebrate what it is that we do for a living by taking a day off. So welcome back to school and work, boys and girls, and while you're readjusting your seat to fit your added barbecue girth, please persuse these pink WHILE YOU WERE OUT SLIPS found on your desk.* Good News: your job was saved. Bad News: the person doing it will receive 47 cents an hour in Malaysia.* The new seniority system is in place. Come to the lunch room and pick up a lottery number.* Tonight's cynical support group has been cancelled. It was never going to happen anyway.* The new management consultant forgot which Hyatt he was staying at. Call the conference room.* Personnel called. They want to know your job description.* The new management consultant thinks everybody should wear red suspenders tomorrow.* Save your old staples. Gwen has volunteered to twist them into paper clips.* Very Important. Respond immediately. Are you POSITIVE Mt. Rushmore is not a natural formation?* The new management consultant has gotten rid of the coffee machine and says we should all drink green tea.* Lost: one wall. Please return to accounting. Ask for Jen.* Please be advised, Monday, the tech department will be measuring legs for the smaller cubicles.Will Durst wants to be a management consultant.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card

Close

Thanks for your support!

Did you enjoy AlterNet this year? Join us! We're offering AlterNet ad-free for 15% off - just $2 per week. From now until March 15th.