DURST: "Kiss It, Please"

Yesterday, the Supreme Court heard arguments from both Paula Jones' attorneys and one of the higher rated of the President's vast legions of overworked lawyer squads about whether her sexual harassment charge against him will be heard while he's still President.Ms. Jones claims that in a Little Rock hotel room in 1991, Bill Clinton dropped his pants and said, "kiss it please." I have one question: who would do that? I know why Clinton is the object of these accusations. He looks like he can get it up. Well I don't mean to be vulgar but can you imagine Bush, Reagan or Dole having an erection? I don't think Stephen King could imagine that. Richard Bachman, maybe.But she also says she can identify his genitalia. Now what does that mean? How freakish was it to be so memorable? Did it have an elbow? Just a dogleg to the right? Perhaps it bore a striking resemblance to Harvey Keitel? Or maybe she was playing a lazy game of "connect the moles" and ended up with Cirrus the Dog Star? Was it the reticulated tentacles that impressed itself into her mind? Or did it have a blue USDA Choice stamp? Well, it certainly wasn't Prime.How do you recognize someone else's organ five years later? I have problems picking myself out of Polaroids.Will Durst is probably telling you more than you need to know.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

Close