Durst: Irish Whiskey
Murphy's Stout sponsored a comedy festival in Kilkenny, Ireland and invited a bunch of us Yank comics over to amuse the troops. At least they said it was a comedy festival. It was mostly a beer festival with chairs. To say the Irish drink, is like saying nitroglycerine is a bad substance to fill overhanging crib mobiles with. This is the country where the swimmer, Michele Smith, was suspected of blood doping because her urine had enough whiskey in it to kill a small hippopotamus. The overwhelming response from her countrymen was, "Hey, what's the problem, she's Irish". You don't test her urine for strength, you test it for origin. If we're talking Scotch Whiskey, its obviously a fake. As long as it smells like an Irish Whiskey distillery, I don't know if we have the right to make a value judgement on how much the young lady cares to drink. Maybe she just needs something to keep her warm in all those strange pools. Or maybe she just spent a weekend in Kilkenny and tried to keep up with one of the eighteen year old thugs there. You guys will forgive me, but I have to go and iron my liver. Try and fill some of those larger perforations, with that special freeze dried Guinness spackling compound I picked up. Will Durst is one hurting puppy.