DURST: Information Overload
So, here I am on the fabled Information Superhighway. It'll be easy to recognize me; just look for the grease spot behind the overturned big rig. Road kill in the bread down lane. For crum's sake you guys, I don't watch the 50 channels I have now. The hell am I supposed to do with 500!?! You think Americans have short attention spans today; in five years we'll be twitching and shaking like hamsters duct taped to roto tillers. Oh goody, goody, goody. Beavis and Butthead on Demand. Entire Shopping Channels devoted exclusively to festively decorated portable floss containers. The 24 hour Gum Network. Excuse me while I hitchhike my way off the exit ramp. And if Congress really plans on regulating this autobahn, kindly do me a favor. Make sure they keep a lane open for us mo-peds. I got this bad feeling that the vending machines at the rest stops are destined to be controlled by the same four phone companies. I'm such a techno geek, I get confused by toaster manuals. I still think a floppy disk is that Beatles album I left under the back window of my car one summer. So maybe some speed bumps are in order. Or how bout this: an Information Superhighway frontage road. You guys go on ahead. Keep the traffic flowing. I'll set up this lemonade stand at some deserted intersection in the shade.Will Durst is a perverted Pisces whose favorite color is red.