DURST: Inappropriate Relationships
In a address to the country that was shorter than Baby Spice's skirt, the President of the United States tangentially admitted he had an "inappropriate relationship" with Monica Lewinsky. Kind of vague. A lot of things are inappropriate between two people. Which was he guilty of? Did he direct her to scrub the manifold of his limo with a pair of Trent Lott's underwear? Was she instructed to secrete the White House cheese slicer in a Chesapeake Bay cave? Did they play chess with Serbian guerilla fighters as pawns? You couldn't quite call it an apology; more like an admission; to some it might even seem like bragging. "Yeah, I had her. So what?" He did blame himself for a "critical lapse of judgement and personal failure which was wrong." A lot like saying "hey, I'm human, so sue me", or "Get off my dick!" Old Brillo Head also said the situation is none of our business and is "between my wife, our daughter and our God." And so what if it turns out his god is Dionysus? Aren't we a polytheistic society? In a convenient break reminiscent of a bell rung at the count of nine, the First Family leaves on Tuesday for a twelve day vacation. How convenient. To paraphrase the Chief Executive with a trouser snake first cousin to Godzilla; "even presidents have private parts."Will Durst says, "once they have the dress, it's time to confess."