DURST: Idiot Drivers

You know what drives me nuttier than squirrel breath? Idiot drivers. More precisely, idiot drivers who for some strange reason have a vendetta against me. You think I'm being paranoid? Then maybe someone can tell me why whichever lane I choose, some banana brain sprouts in front of me and decides this is the perfect spot to stop and reflect on life's miserable lack of direction causing a tie up only intensified by the time it takes all of us passing to flip him off.The cell phone people are another breed of wheeled marsupial lard. Most of these Type A Cretins out on the road are armed with the attention span of a two week old kitten in a mirrored yarn shop and should be denied the right to have an AM radio. So now we're giving them phones? Why not just throw a telescoping shower stall into the mix? Sure, and then we can make a combination television/ toaster oven available, with optional microwaves and self adjusting satellite dishes mounted on the roof. And hey. Whatever happened to blinkers? Have they become options, because I never see anybody using them anymore. Directional signals. Used to signal a change in direction ... hello!?! What am I; Kreskin?

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