DURST: Hot Wetness at 30,000 Feet

Its bad enough the airlines raised economy class rates for the third time this year, making an 11 percent across the board price boost since January, but now they want to take our coffee away. Sirs, have you no sense of decency?On the surface their reasoning is perfectly constructed to appear sound to the FAA. See, they're only thinking of us. People boarding with off plane purchased coffee products tend to spill on other passengers causing great harm and hot wetness. Of course they conveniently neglect to mention the wet hotness due to our being herded into an extruded aluminum tube so minuscule as to makes a desk drawer's recessed pencil tray seem spacious.Then you consider every flight more crowded than free banana daiquiri night at a University of Kentucky sorority house and to be perfectly honest, I'm surprised more fluids aren't unconsciously dribbling and spontaneously shooting out of us. Obviously for the airlines, this is a pre-emptive strike towards the ratcheting up of outside contamination restrictions probably manifesting next into a no imported food policy on the theory that you just can't trust those nationally advertised franchises. An inadvertent self admission. This will inevitably lead to a uniform clothing mandate, and finally a height, weight and eye color requirement. And of course you'll need a pass from the proper authorities declaring your interests to be consistent with those of the state, but isn't that how the increased air fares work in the first place?Will Durst loves the breakfast omelet on United, but he wouldn't want to stake his health on it.

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