DURST: H. Ross Perot

H. Ross Perot is the Reform Party's nominee for President, and I couldn't be more shocked if water turned out to be wet. Next we'll find out it gets dark at night. Turtles are slow. Movies with Eric Roberts in them are bad.Yes friends, your worst nightmare has come true. Its Ears 2: The Return. This is the guy who quit the race in 92, allegedly because the Republican Dirty Tricks Squad was going to disrupt his daughter's wedding. Which always made me wonder; how do you disrupt a Texas wedding? Do you back the pickups too close to the goat spit? Force the bridesmaids to wear attractive dresses? Replace all that good picante sauce with that kind from New York City?Many men in white coats should throw a net over this guy and keep him locked up in a real soft room until November. He's flakier than a Sunday croissant. The wacky thing is, both Democrats and Republicans fall for this little twerp's tease and try to out grovel each other to be his sweetheart dreaming of a quick elopement. But still knowing in their heart of hearts they'll probably both end up having to sleep in the wet spot.

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