DURST: Greenspan Watch
Hey guys, this is Durst with your Alan Greenspan watch. Following a heavy meal, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan reportedly burped yesterday, sending shivers through Wall Street that nearly brought down several International commodities exchanges. This was immediately after his dinner companions at the upscale Midtown Manhattan Benningan's restaurant seemed disappointed in the size of their portions, but Greenspan just grunted, which was interpreted as perhaps indicative that lowered expectations are the wave of the future. He then picked at his vegetables, and played soccer with his roll using a napkin as a goal leading to a run on sports related stocks. Later he was seen splashing cold water on his face in the bathroom, leading to speculation by career Greenspan spotters as notice of the rude awakening we will all receive when the central bank decides the fate of interest rates at its next meeting on November 12th. No dessert was ordered, although many tempting specials were available including an exquisite chocolate tart covered in a raspberry reduction frustrating many. Then a brief sell off was precipitated when he flirted with the waitress, deciphered by more than a few to be a tacit encouragement of the practise of giving part time emloyees extended benefits packages, but a leveling off occurred twenty minutes later when observers were relieved to see Greenspan leaving only an 18 percent tip, a full one and a half percent less than he left last time, evidence that he was not acceding to Labor's increasingly strident demand for a living wage. He left, after taking one toothpick, a pack of matches and two mints, an action which experts are now assessing, especially since it was noted he only ate one of the mints. Although it is universally acknowledged that the TWO mints may be a good sign. And then again, they may not.Will Durst is guilty of "Irrational Exuberance".