DURST: Gomorrah by the Sea

The Barbary Coast thrives again. Friends threw a 50th birthday party for San Francisco political consultant Jack Davis that could go a long way in cementing the city's national reputation as Gomorra By The Sea. The entertainment included live sex acts, the carving of pentagrams into the backs of performance artists, urination and sodomization with a Jack Daniels bottle, which according to spectator Sheriff Mike Hennessey, was "a great waste of a bottle of whiskey."So many fluids were flowing, the Delta got jealous. Of course, through a curious rash of spontaneous babysitteritis, every politician present reluctantly responded to emergencies at home, and were not present during the festivities. These guys disappeared faster than brownies at a pot rally. As a matter of fact, it seems nobody actually saw the alleged events except for the depraved members of the press who described it down to the last hairy moled detail. All I can say is anything that ticks Rush Limbaugh off is okay by me, although I'm sure at future Jack Davis fetes, all the liquor will be served in convenient squeeze bottles, especially the Galliano. Besides, what's the big deal with a little spin the bottle, we got to have some fun. After all we don't have Kennedys out here. Will Durst is still pissed he wasn't invited.

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