DURST: Frequently Asked Questions About The Kosovo Bombing

Q. How do we refer to Slobodan Milosevic? A. The Serbian Strongman, not a good sign. "Strongman" is US shorthand for "Guy about to be bombed back to the stone age."Q. What does NATO call the bombing?A. Humanitarian Intervention, which makes its sound like a bunch of us are going over to his house to try and convince him to quit hanging out at bars during the day. Q. What happened to the Peace Talks?A. You don't hold Peace Talks in Paris for crum's sake. Didn't we learnanything from Vietnam?Q. Where should they be held?A. Places people don't want to be. Dayton springs to mind. And Belgrade. Q. Why are the Serbs opposed to an Albanian ethnic majority?A. We've asked the Serbs and can't seem to get a straight answer. All we get is something that sounds like "Not In My Back Yard" in Serbian. B. What are they trying to do about it?A. The Serbian thought goes, we have to make Serbs the majority here and there are two ways to do it: one is to make more Serbs and the other is to make less Albanians. Making less Albanians seems to be the more expedient choice. Q. How do we explain the innocent people killed while we make a statement? A. Call them collateral damage. Will Durst is not in favor of collateral damage.

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