Durst: Flat Tax
You'll lose forty pounds, lengthen your penis, and grow hair on the top of your head! It's the flat tax miracle from the GOP, and it's going to fix everything. But will it pull votes out of a hat? The Republicans can only hope. First, Malcom "Steve" Forbes Jr. proposed a 17% flat income tax rate with no deductions, mortgage, charitable, or otherwise. Of course it would only be applied to earned income, and since Forbes' fortune is all inherited, he wouldn't pay a thing. Nice ante up there, rich boy. Who pays? Everybody but Stevie. Now, Phil Gramm has laid out an economic plan with a not so flat rate of 16%. Of course, this is coming from a guy who flunked 3rd, 7th, and 9th grades. Geez guys, even Forrest Gump passed third. Can't wait for Pat Buchanan's most spherical of flat tax plans. Probably end up at 3%, with free ammunition to everybody living in a border state. There are a couple teeny weeny problems here. Some critics think the adoption of a flat tax would cause a 25% drop in the worth of single family homes, but what the hell do the Republicans care; most of their constituents are renters, right?