DURST: Failsafe Promises

Why Wye? Because Camp David had more ghosts than an entire season of Scooby Doo. Hard to live up to your big brothers' expectations when the big brothers are Hall of Famers like Anwar Sadat, Menachem Begin and Jimmy Carter. And you know Netanyahu, Arafat and Clinton would rather be covered in paper cuts and dipped in tabasco sauce than be held up to the outline of the big boys even with King Hussein added to the mix.Arafat hasn't slept in the same place two nights in a row since he was fooling around with training bombs. Now Clinton has him hunkered down in a top bunk on some Plantation in Eastern Maryland because the Democrats need a nice foreign policy coup before the election. So these guys aren't leaving until they agree on something. Since small stumbling blocks remain -- like the Palestinian Liberation Organization's unwillingness to give up its charter declaration calling for the total destruction of Israel -- I have some fail safe fallback promises they can keep.-- The sand stays.-- Breakfast is definitely the most important meal.-- This Y2K thing could be a bitch.-- Summer colds are the worst.-- The 98 Yankees couldn't carry the 27 Yankees' jockstraps.-- Those candy corn kernels are a crummy Halloween treat.-- Scariest Halloween movie: Halloween. The first one. -- Yellow may be more visible but fire trucks should be red. -- That Nicole Kidman is a fox.-- Pork sucks.Will Durst wonders if they can soften the language to "partial destruction."

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