DURST: El Nino Striking Again

I know why the Giants were swept in the NL Division Series by the Marlins. Its the same reason Princess Diana and Mother Teresa died within days of each other. And obviously the cause of the problems with the Mir Space Station. Not to mention my Uncle Bud's problems in determining the ages of willing teenage companions. El Nino. Yes friends, El Nino is the root of all evil in the world. It is the embodiment of the devil and has been sent as a sign that God is punishing us for being soulless heathens with the morals of rabid frat jackals in heat in a shed full of naked Swedish Bikini Team members on Ecstasy. El Nino is also responsible for Al Gore's Executive Mansion phone dialing by itself, the congestion on I-80 causing me to be late to work four out of five days last week and for m chronic slice off the tee, except when she uses her long irons, but does she listen to me? Noooo. To let this sinister "natural phenomenon" terrorize us is to allow the diabolic forces of the Horny Fiend to poison our collective goodness. So here's my suggestion. We all make a pilgrimage to the Pacific Ocean and toss in a cup of ice cubes. Three pound bags and you grease your chute to heaven. Hey, it couldn't hurt.Will Durst says "let's give it a try". November 1st. Ocean Beach, San Francisco. At sundown.

#story_page_ below_article

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.