DURST: El Nino Striking Again
I know why the Giants were swept in the NL Division Series by the Marlins. Its the same reason Princess Diana and Mother Teresa died within days of each other. And obviously the cause of the problems with the Mir Space Station. Not to mention my Uncle Bud's problems in determining the ages of willing teenage companions. El Nino. Yes friends, El Nino is the root of all evil in the world. It is the embodiment of the devil and has been sent as a sign that God is punishing us for being soulless heathens with the morals of rabid frat jackals in heat in a shed full of naked Swedish Bikini Team members on Ecstasy. El Nino is also responsible for Al Gore's Executive Mansion phone dialing by itself, the congestion on I-80 causing me to be late to work four out of five days last week and for m chronic slice off the tee, except when she uses her long irons, but does she listen to me? Noooo. To let this sinister "natural phenomenon" terrorize us is to allow the diabolic forces of the Horny Fiend to poison our collective goodness. So here's my suggestion. We all make a pilgrimage to the Pacific Ocean and toss in a cup of ice cubes. Three pound bags and you grease your chute to heaven. Hey, it couldn't hurt.Will Durst says "let's give it a try". November 1st. Ocean Beach, San Francisco. At sundown.