DURST: Dole in California

Well, we've narrowed it down. Either Bob Dole intends to launch an all out attack on California or not. Chances are he's going to ditch our state faster than a Disney employee with a cigarette when old big ears turns the corner or then again maybe he plans on pouring eighty percent of every cent he raises in these last three weeks into it. Yeah, right, and maybe the meat of Madagascar Hissing cockroaches will take over as America's favorite taco filling.The problem is he can't say out loud that for all he cares California can slide into the ocean and become excellent reef material or he might tend to discourage Republicans to vote for local candidates. It's the feared "Aww, the hell with it" scenario, that Jimmy Carter perfected in 1980.My California based strategy for Bob is simple. He strips down to his skivvies and guest stars on a episode of Baywatch as the irascible economics teacher who tutors Pamela Lee Anderson on supply side economics, which she later uses to save the lifeguard stand with a trickle down sunscreen pyramid scheme. Then the whole crew celebrates by partying down on the beach to a brokered Van Halen reunion.Will Durst is thinking it's worth forty, fifty votes easy.

#story_page_ below_article

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.