DURST: Corporate Sponsorship Out of Control

Tiger Woods' smashing victory in the Masters Golf Tournament is a greatboom to golf, and an even bigger one to Nike, which apparently has theirswoosh stenciled on every piece of clothing he owns. I even think I saw aglimpse of one on the elastic waistband of his underwear when he stopped to pick up his ball on the 13th fairway during the third round. Good timing since the Beaverton athletic shoe company needs a public relations victorymore urgently than the Society of Pit Bull Breeders after that nasty babyduck fiasco at their recent convention. You know Nike is still holding damage control meetings about focus group surveys to figure out if that whole Heaven' Gate thing was good publicity or bad. "Well, on the one hand, the swoosh was on the cover of everything. On the other hand, it did tend to put a reverse spin on the whole 'just do it' thing. What we need to do is find the new cults. Quietly. Emerging cults. Cutting edge cults. Post grunge cults. Let's see if we can get the Gen-Xers involved. Finally. And figure out a way where they don't die in the end. After all, dead customers are rarely repeat customers." Of course Reebok is reluctant to start off with a cult. They're playing it safe, looking into sponsoring postal workers. Converse typically refuses to rush into anything and has tentatively agreed to outfit a pickpocket team out of Miami, then they'll see how it goes.Will Durst is looking for a beer and cheeseburger sponsor.

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