DURST: Cashing In

What burns my toast about the Trial of the Century is it's a perfect chance for our government to finally recoup some cash off this lifetime investigation of Clinton and we're doing nothing. Nothing. That so called budget surplus isn't going to last forever you know. Monica Lewinsky's suite at the Mayflower Hotel is $5,000 a night alone. Guess who's paying for that? You are. Well, okay, we. Where's the merchandizing? Where's the product placements? Has anybody even bothered to do a copyright search on the phrase "Trial of the Century?" I can't believe they actually argued about releasing the taped depositions when we should be hawking them on late night commercials as a boxed set.Think Ken Burns' "Civil War" without the Civil. I'm talking Trial Of The Century t- shirts, sweat shirts, oyster shucking knives, sno- globes of the Capitol with 100 tiny senators as the snow. "No two are alike." How about a limited edition version of The Starr Report illustrated by Rodrigue, the guy who does those blue dogs? Not just a teaching tool, but a way to bring history home.Why isn't every little girl in America whining for a Blue Dress Barbie? Where are the little tiny gavels signed by Chief Justice Rehnquist stuffed in specially marked packages of Honey Nut Cheerios? I think Rehnquist would go for it. After all, he did show up with those four gold stripes on the arms of his robes. In his quiet distinguished way, he's telling us to go for it.I won't be satisfied until House Manager Henry Hyde gives the closing argument for the Trial of the Century wearing a Nike sweatsuit, a pair of Reeboks, and an officially licensed Yoda Patch on his shoulder plugging Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace. Patches, that's the way to go. Think NASCAR.Will Durst needs a trial patch.

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