DURST: B-1 Bob Bombs Out

Congress is mourning the loss of Representative Robert Dornan the way a zoo mourns the loss of a rabid squirrel monkey with a scabie chewed butt. Yeah, the kids always loved it when he threw what first appeared to be mud at his mates, but eventually everybody got tired of cleaning up the dim primate's mess. The 63-year-old six term Congressman is known as B-1 Bob for being just a little to the right of Pol Pot, and is taking his defeat with the gentle grace you would expect a teething 3-year-old to exhibit when his favorite toy is given to a hated cousin.Making matters even worse is the new recipient is a girl. Obviously a member of that old school which believes when the going gets tough, the tough get incredibly whiny, Dornan so far has blamed his downfall on Lesbians, cowardly Republicans, dead illegal alien felons, and is soon expected to release evidence that giant space monsters with scaly talons filled the skulls of poll workers with jellied doughnuts. If House members got report cards, his would have been marked in a bold red Sharpie: "Does Not Play Well With Others." The only bad news is this means he will be available for more fill in work for Rush Limbaugh leaving the immense one additional time to freely walk among us.Be afraid. Be very afraid.Will Durst is.


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