DURST: Apocalyptic Politics

In what was obviously a monumental mistake, Congressional Republicans and the Clinton Administration agreed yesterday. That's the big news. That the accord determined how to balance the budget for the first time in nearly three decades and okayed the first major tax cuts since 1981 is rather incidental.Outside the fact that it's one of the signs of the Apocalypse, this blessed harmony means a lot of things. It should go without saying that we should be afraid. Be very afraid. The biggest beneficiaries are of course... the accountants. New tax laws normally are signalled in CPA households by travel arrangements made in exotic lands where even the orange juice is served with little umbrellas. Some of the compromises made on the budget included:* Credits for children. The new accomodation replaces the proposed covenant requiring kids to give Congress one third of all their Sour Gummi Bears.* Children's health. After intense negotiation republicans reluctantly agreed that children should have health.* Capital Gains. This mostly helps the large segment of America who hangs out with Thurston P. Howell III.* Tobacco Taxes. 10 cents a pack. Big deal. Mostly passed to annoy Jesse Helms.* Inheritance Taxes. People will still be punished for dying but not as much as before.Will Durst will not die until he punishes.


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