DURST: All Riled Up

Saw "Blazing Saddles" on the tube the other day, and besides it being much funnier than I remember, I noticed an interesting phenomenona. The local station I watched it on bleeped all the noise out of the fart scene but kept in the "nigger" and "faggot" references. This made me so mad I started spitting and sputtering like my saliva glands were hooked up to individual pneumatic air hoses. Okay, so here's the new deal. Anything the body does naturally and yes, I'm talking about how babies are made and the excess fluids, solids and gasses, which escape so we don't bloat up and explode like beached whale carcasses is no longer obscene. But a person using a word to belittle another in someone else's eyes: is. Using words like "honor" to defend warfare when its really all about money is obscene. Farts aren't. Got that? You know what's obscene: Mike Ovitz getting $140 million as a golden parachute while not two miles from Disney Studios senior citizens are clipping coupons for Tender Vittles. A Governor trying to keep kids from getting medical assistance because they're the wrong color. The same man who took the money from the First Time Home Buyers Fund and used it to give tax breaks to oil companies. That's obscene. Not noises. Unless its "Ka- Ching!" Let's try it out.Will Durst got serious there. Sorry.

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