Crying Rage in Littleton -- Don't Blame the Media, Blame Us

To be young... it has its great times, yet it is not much different from a world war, just that the sounds of explosion, death and agony can only be heard by one. I know, for I am still here, awaiting the day it is over, while trying to survive in a society that somehow still remains deaf to youth, though it hears of our destruction.The other day, I sat in a room full of adults who talked of the incident in Littleton with disgust. Their eyes burned with it. How could something like this happen, was the question that remained silent, plainly posted on their faces. Is it such a difficult question to answer? Apparently not, when just a few days after I heard of the incident, the media already had the conclusions in the papers -- kids imitating a movie called "Basketball Diaries."You know, that just makes so much sense. I mean it's such an easy, obvious answer. Kids aren't capable of thinking something like this up on their own. They're just too lame, too mindless, to even give something like this a thought. Why bother when there are numbers of video stores to go to, thousands of movies to pick from, which will basically plan the whole scene out for them. It's sad that that is all society thinks of us, when they fear us enough to put us away.All I gotta say about this, is that if I were to go to school for the last time in my life, shoot enough ammunition to kill several people, build some bombs, and kill myself, I sure wouldn't go through the trouble just to be known as an imitator. Hell no.Guns, bombs, death, it sounds like someone who has been driven past the point. Did these kids get punked around in school? I mean, from experience, being the outcast in school can be the most horrifying and humiliating thing in this world.I remember when I was in the 8th grade, I was terrified of attending school because of what the popular crowd might have had in mind for me that day. So what did I do? I cut and cut and cut until finally I became the oppressor's product -- a delinquent.Before all this though, there were dozens of times when I talked to the principal, to the vice-principal, to teachers, to my own mother about my ongoing problems. The result was having me see a shrink because apparently to them, I was the one with the problem.I bring this up because I think there was a time when these kids actually tried to seek hope and salvation from an adult and what they received was the complete opposite. When all the choices have been crossed off the list, what is left? The only difference between them and I was that I have never killed, but I still chose a path of destruction. Just where did the news conjugate the idea of blaming it on the entertainment media? It 's so ridiculous. If people want to claim "imitation", then why don't they point the finger at adults. I mean, we as youth should learn from the best right? So why wouldn't it be something like this: Two kids who were on a search to make some sort of big impact, to finally be heard. Two kids who were tired of being nothing. If this is how it was then why not try the adult way of being heard? Start a war! Drop some bombs! Invade and conquer someone else's land just to feel powerful! Now, we're really cookin'.Hazel Tesoro, 18, is on the staff YO! (Youth Outlook), a monthly newspaper by and about young people published by Pacific News Service.

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