Long Tours Extend Heartaches for Military Moms

By Alison Bowen, Women's eNews. Posted May 30, 2007.

U.S. Army Capt. Wendy Bernard, in the middle of a one-year deployment in Iraq, came home for two weeks' leave in the summer of 2004 to find that her year-old daughter, Clark, wouldn't speak to her after six months of separation.

"By the time she warmed up to me, it was time to go again," Bernard said. She returned to Iraq, staying until January 2005 while her husband, U.S. Army Master Sgt. Matthew Atkinson, took care of Clark and their 13-year-old son Blake at home in New York.

Extended deployments and abbreviated family leaves are among the difficulties probed by a May 11 congressional report by the Joint Economic Committee on the difficulties of deployed mothers, who typically are young parents with lower incomes.

"I think that all mothers face challenges, but military moms have the added burden of longer deployments and longer separations from their children," said Rep. Carolyn Maloney, D-N.Y., who released the report with Sen. Charles Schumer.

Women represent 1 in 7 military personnel in Iraq, and 38 percent of active-duty women are mothers.

Mothers in active duty have been at the center of a controversial debate since women joined the armed forces in support positions in 1901, stirring ideological battles over how the mother-child bond affects women's right to equal work, pay and rank.

But the study, "Helping Military Moms Balance Family and Longer Deployments," accepts that women with children are in the armed forces and focuses on practical and procedural matters: the availability of high-quality child care, the length of leaves of absence and access to mental health services.

Nearly half of active-duty women are in the lower pay grades--earning between $14,436 and $24,744--and more than half of soldiers with children became parents between 20 and 25 years old.

Scramble for Child Care

For many, word of a deployment can mean a scramble for child care because, while military bases have substantial day care systems, not all children remain on the base after a deployment.

At least 230,000 children have a parent stationed in Iraq, Afghanistan or the Horn of Africa, according to the report. Among these, the military estimates it lacks 35,000 spots in its day care program for children whose parents are deployed abroad.

Army equipment parts clerk and single mom U.S. Army Sgt. Karyn Obey decided to move 2-year-old Christopher to live with her parents in New York when she deployed to Afghanistan.

Before she left, she and Christopher's father, who had just been posted to a Washington state military base, cobbled the money together for his $685-per-month New York day care bill. Each parent contributed $500 a month for Christopher's food, clothes, and piano and karate lessons.

Obey flew to Afghanistan on her son's third birthday for a year-long deployment.

"I'd never been separated from him before," Obey said. "To be at the flight line, looking at this plane, and to know that today's my son's special day and I'm about to go on this plane instead of being with him and blowing out his candles; that tore me up for a long time."

The report recommends expanding child care services to meet upcoming deployment needs, extending family leave periods after child birth and adoption and setting aside resources for mental health services to assist mothers before and after deployments.

Maloney expects them to be implemented within the decade.

Risk of Losing Female Soldiers

The U.S. Government Accountability Office, which evaluates government programs and expenditures, will release another report on June 21 about work-and-family balance. If resources for military mothers do not improve, Maloney says, the military will lose female soldiers.

See more stories tagged with: children, military moms, military mothers, active duty, deployed, child care, child care support

Alison Bowen is a New York-based reporter with Women's eNews.

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