WATCH: Jon Stewart Mocks Donald Sterling's Ridiculous and Pathetic Anderson Cooper Interview
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Jon Stewart performed his finest Donald Sterling imitation Monday night in a segment called "Wow, did not see that coming." First he took a few minutes to comment on the reactions to NFL draft pick Michael Sam's expressive kiss with his boyfriend. One hater tweeted, "kids might be watching," and Stewart reassured them that all the kids saw was "two men who really love cake."
But the main target for the comedian—and a pretty easy one at that—was Donald Sterling's apology interview with Anderson Cooper, in which the disgraced Clippers owner dug his racist grave even deeper. (What were his handlers thinking by putting him on TV?)
Some choice quotes from Sterling: "I don't even know how I can say words like that . . . I'm apologizing . . . Aren't I entitled to one mistake?"
At which point Stewart helpfully points out that Sterling pretty much spent his "one mistake chip" when he settled a huge housing discrimination suit and talked about how he did not like to rent to black people "because they smell."
More Sterling absurdity, interwoven by Stewart imitating the billionaire's high-pitched whine: "I don't talk about people, ever. I talk about ideas."
Stewart: "Like what if parks had two separate water fountains." (Graphic shows one for whites, one for "colored.")
Sterling: "I don't know why the girl had me say those things."
Stewart: "She was having you read from her script, 'My old racist sugar daddy.'"
And then, as if he hasn't been despicable enough, Sterling criticizes Magic Johnson for not having done enough for racial minorities.
Stewart points out that there really was no need to record Sterling and leak it to the media. "You can just put him in front of the cameras where he can see them and the lights . . . and just let the crazy fly."