10 Craziest Right-Wing Reactions to Boy Scouts Lifting Gay Ban
Continued from previous page
Rick also offers a somewhat unique definition of “the left”...
Men at the top of the food chain whose boys are insulated, although not immune, from the harmful effects of societal change are behind this effort. Board members James Turley, CEO of Ernst & Young, and Randall Stephenson, CEO of AT&T, are advocating for gay scoutmasters and scouts. They are joined by two big funders, UPS and Merck, that have signaled change or money will disappear.
Just wait until the Frothy One sees the new Boy Scout oath being unveiled this week:
On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to
Godthe spirit of Judy Garland and my countrytotally gay countries like France
and to obey
the Scoutwhatever Unnatural Law floats my boat;
otherindoctrinate people into the homosexual lifestyle;
To keep myself
physically strongbuffed up and impeccably coifed,
mentally awake, and
morally straightqueer as a 3-dollar bill.
3. You know who else allowed gays and lesbians to be scoutmasters?
Never one to let Godwin's Law go unconfirmed, Sandy Rios of the American Family Association knows where all of this is heading. Right-Wing Watch flagged a segment on her radio show, in which she warned of creeping Liberal Fascism. “We know that if you think that homosexuality is a problem you will not be allowed into public service hardly in any way,” she said (Rick Santorum can attest to that). “If you think that homosexual couples should not be able to adopt, if you have a problem with that, then you are out of the adoption business. I think it is fascism personally; I would go to that extreme and say that it’s a lack of freedom.”
Because nothing says “freedom” like forcing local scout troops to embrace the religious right's endless collection of antiquated bigotries.
4. I see you shiver with antici... pation!
The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer is worried about sly and sexy glances being exchanged over a smore, or the brush of a hand across a scout's arm as his merit badge for basketry is pinned to his chest. The problem, according to Fischer, is that gay is catching:
You really can't have boyscouts that are open homosexuals because they're gonna be mingling, they're going to be in the same tent, they're going to be on camping trips, they're going to be in cabins with...uh... boys, and you just can't take the risk of the kind of sexual tension... that could easily happen.
We're guessing Bryan Fischer's never been to a summer camp full of hormonally deranged boys.
5. You're no doubt wondering, OK, but what does Chuck Norris think about all of this?
Why, obviously he thinks it's a grand conspiracy! See, everything is happening at once: society is becoming increasingly tolerant of gays and lesbians, Obama eventually came out in favor of marriage equality and other people also share that same view! Wake up, sheeple! Connect the dots! Just like Chuck Norris did at the eminent journal of political science, Ammoland:
A Boy Scouts of America national board member, James Turley, who is also global chairman and CEO of the accounting firm Ernst & Young, recently said he “will work from within to seek a change” to overturn the BSA policy that bans gay Scouts and leaders.
But is Turley working on his own initiative, or has the White House prodded him with perks and favors?
Is it a coincidence that Turley came out swinging against the BSA’s century-old policy to ban gays from leadership and that he has such close affiliations with the pro-gay Obama administration?