The Surprising Things I Learned from Working in a Strip Club (Hint: Pastors Are Big Fans)
The following article first appeared on Kinkly.com.
I worked in a strip club for four years, so I know what women tend to think of them. Ladies, you assume that men go to strip clubs purely to get laid, am I right? I'm not saying this doesn't happen; sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. But the reality is that all different types of men go to these places, from doctors to homeless men and everything in between. I've even met a couple of pastors. Most of the time, an entertainer really functions as a cheap therapist with less clothing. Sometimes, strip club patrons just need someone to talk to - someone who won't judge them.
All men are different, and they go to strip clubs for different reasons. What I'm trying to say is that you can't just blanket a whole gender and say "men do this because". So, here's a little insight into the male psyche. When it comes to strip clubs, I've seen three kinds of guys: there are good guys, bad guys and guys who are just plain creepy. Here's my take on why all these types of men visit a gentleman's club. (Interested in checking out a strip club as a couple? Read A Lady's Guide to the Gentleman's Club.)
The Good Guys
There are some single men who would rather pay to meet women simply because there are no strings attached. As far as I'm concerned that's their business; it doesn't make them bad guys. My favorite good guy is "the talker". He just wants to talk about his life and his problems. Most of the time he doesn't even want any advice; he just needs someone to listen to him unload. Granted, a guy like this is often in a situation where he should be telling these things to his wife. For some reason, he doesn't. My theory is that these men either don't want to make their wives worry for no reason, or their wives try to fix the problem for them. By nature, men are problem solvers. They don't want a solution to their problems, they just want someone to listen while they talk through it.
But strippers don't just give listen. They also dance, and there are men who visit strip clubs because they genuinely enjoy a good show (my husband is one of them). If there is a dancer who really performs and has a few good pole tricks under her belt, these guys will be there until the place closes for the night.
Next up is guys gone wild. When I worked as a dancer, I worked in a tourist area and there are always these huge groups of guys that come once a year. Some of them fall into the good category. They are on vacation and just want to relax, have a few drinks and talk to a pretty girl. The rest, well, they fall into the "bad" category. I'll get to them later.
Another group of good guys are what I like to call "white knights." And while they are really sweet guys, they are pretty pitiful. They tend to get attached to a dancer and think that they're going to save her from "that life". (Dancers call a guy like this "Captain Save a Ho".) Unfortunately, that means they usually get taken advantage of. You'll see them a few months later with an empty wallet - and a broken heart.
Last but not least, some guys come to strip clubs because they have fetishes, but these guys can really be good guys too ... depending on the fetish. I've had men pay me to let them rub my feet. Score! I also knew a girl who got paid very well to let her customer brush her hair. A lot of these guys think they are weird for having fetishes, but for the most part they aren't that gruesome. Let's be honest, what woman would complain about having her feet massaged?