DURST: Gore's Turn at Bat
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LOS ANGELES, August 14 -- The competition between Democratic and Repbulican nominating conventions is a lot like a baseball game, in which the party in power is the home team. That's why they always have "last ups" at the convention World Series. The score is kept in terms of "bounce." And the Republicans, the visiting team, scored about 9 points in their turn at the bat.
One point was overturned when Gore blurred the memory of their diversity sideshow -- when the GOP Big Tent met the minstrel show -- by tapping Joe Lieberman as his second in command. Between innings, there was a Triple A game "dizzy bat" contest, also known as the Reform party convention(s). Both Buchanan and Hagelin stumbled across the plate in a photo finish, with the winner of the $12.6 million cash prize to be decided in about two weeks by that dysfunctional One Hour Photo Lab known as the Federal Elections Commission.
Now the Democrats come to bat and they need to score at least 14 points to make up the GOP bounce and the six points they spotted them coming in. Other ways the conventions are exactly like baseball games:
- Both teams have really ugly mascots.
- If they don't win, the manager (candidate) gets canned.
- Old Boy network guarantees the manager always gets another job.
- Can never find a beer vendor when you need one.
- Fans dress funny.
- Media writes about it like its a life and death situation, when its really just a game.
Come to think of it, Will Durst would rather be at a baseball game.