The Durst Dispatches from the RNC

See Dick.

See Dick run.

See Dick run sideways.

See Dick go on Sunday morning talk shows and dodge questions about his votes as Wyoming's entire House contingent.

See Dick quibble about voting against releasing Nelson Mandela from prison.

Quibble, Dick, Quibble.

See Dick clumsily explain his voting against the Equal Rights Amendment was actually a compassionate gesture in order to protect the gentler sex from being drafted.

Nitpick, Dick, Nitpick.

See Lynne, Dick's wife, be tapped by Aaron Spelling to play the Wicked Witch of the West in a made-for-TV remake of the "Wizard of Oz" set in Malibu.

See Dick change his mind and announce that he might change his vote to ban cop killer bullets and plastic guns this time around.

See Dick forget to mention now means he's presumptive Republican Vice Presidential Candidate and all.

See Dick say the '80s were a long time ago.

See Dick's old friend George the Elder cringe when George the Younger looks at him as if to say, "Thanks Dad."

See Dick demonstrate little remorse when he alters George the Younger's "different kind of Republican" phrase to mean a throwback to the Goldwater campaign.

See Quibble Dick call the Democratic charges that he's a little to the right of Newt Gingrich silly.

Quibble, Dick, Quibble.

Will Durst thinks the bar is raised for Al Gore to make a worse choice, but he's just the guy to do it.