It Ain't Easy Being (Up to Your Ears in) Green

In this age of instant IPO millionaires it's hard to be anything other than sick and tired of dot-com tycoons who've come into a ton of cash faster than you can say, "I'd like a new Porsche Boxster." And it's not uncommon for many people to publicly gripe about the new economy's nouveau riche.

But according to wealth counselors -- shrinks who see people that have gotten rich quick -- there are a host of psychological issues that can come with the big bucks, issues like a lack of understanding from other people and the false belief that money is a panacea for all life's problems.

"They come in and say, 'Here I am. I've done it. Everyone says I should be happy and content and they make fun of me that I have any problems at all,'" says Stephen Goldbart, a California psychologist who counsels dot-commers with stock options that have turned to gold.

Instead of solving all troubles, money is often the cause of new and different problems. So much so that the therapists who treat the affliction have even named it: Sudden Wealth Syndrome (a.k.a. affluenza). And it's a field that a growing number of therapists are beginning to specialize in. (The downturn in the stock market in recent months hasn't hurt business any either, with many clients now seeking help to deal with concerns of market volatility and fear of losing what they have.)

Laugh if you will, but that only adds to the problem. Although those who have struck Internet pay-dirt no longer have to worry about how to pay the rent, they may lie in bed thinking, "Do people like me just for my money? Who can I trust? Who am I if I no longer have to work for a living?" For some, finances interfere with their personal relationships. Others worry about having their wealth exposed to the public. Some feel they don't deserve their wealth or are embarrassed by it and face envy and resentment from those around them.

A few years ago, Goldbart, noticing a pattern among many of his clients, conferred with Joan DiFuria, another therapist specializing in wealth concerns. DiFuria's experiences echoed his own and the two of them founded the Kentfield, CA-based Money, Meaning and Choices Institute in 1997 with the mission to empower people with wealth to make a difference in their own lives and in their communities.

"I saw people who were coming to me in the beginning and saying, 'If my stock goes up I will have X amount of money, and if I have that, this is what I would do,'" says DiFuria. And then their company would go public, their options would vest, they'd have the money, and guess what? They wouldn't stop working.

This left DiFuria questioning what was really going on with her clients. Here they had an opportunity to do whatever they wanted with their lives, and many were just going back to work. Often the windfall brought about an identity crisis of sorts.

"They wondered, 'Who am I if I don't have to work?'" says DiFuria.

Not to mention, for many who had spent almost all of their time on the job, they didn't have any other life outside of work.

"We have people take a look at their options in life," says Goldbart. "For some that means getting a life. If 90 percent of your life is spent at work, the soul, body and relationships are often being neglected, if not avoided. This is an opportunity for people to take stock of their resources and try to achieve balance in their lives across those four areas."

Most of the suddenly rich aren't looking for sympathy, nor do they want to forfeit their big bucks. They're just trying to find ways to deal with the inevitable changes -- good and bad -- that the money is making in their lives. A large dose of philanthropy is often part of the solution to the identity crisis.

"These people get to start asking the psychological questions earlier like, 'What's important to me?' and 'Do I want to make a difference in the world, and if so, how?'" says DiFuria.