Immigration: The 'Please Deport Me' Plan Falls Flat on First Day

By Jackie Mahendra ....

In the past few months, both DHS (the Department of Homeland Security) and ICE (Immigration, Customs and Enforcement) have come under fire for the dozens upon dozens of unaccounted-for deaths in immigrant detention. This was followed by outrage over ratcheted-up enforcement operations that have spawned the largest, and perhaps most unjust, workplace raids in US history.

The response?

Instead of making strides to repair an ailing immigration system, or ensuring humane detention conditions for those in DHS custody, ICE has introduced a plan so absurd, even its die-hard fans are stumped.

ICE to immigrants: "Please Deport Yourselves."

In an honor akin to hosting the next Olympics, Chicago was selected to be one of five pilot cities for the "Please Deport Me Plan." "Operation Scheduled Departure," as ICE calls it, targets undocumented immigrants with no criminal record, whom ICE believes might be convinced to deport themselves. Spanish, English, and Polish-language ads will run in ethnic news outlets throughout the city to let undocumented immigrants know about this exciting new option at their fingertips. While today marked the first full day of the new program, (surprise, surprise) not a single immigrant volunteered for deportation.

The incentive to "self-deport"?

The wish to avoid traumatic separation from family, dying in a privately-traded detention facility, or having to give birth shackled, which have become the crowning achievements of our failure to pass humane immigration reform under this administration's watch.

A bad joke?