Why Brides-to-Be Are Starving Themselves Skinny

NEW YORK -- Sure, brides-to-be dream of orchids, fluffy cakes and love everlasting, but the singular thought of many in the months leading up to their weddings is, "How am I going to look in that dress?"

The growth and sophistication of the wedding industry, from the local florist and caterer to wedding media -- TV shows, magazines and Web sites like TheKnot.com -- is giving brides more options than ever before and more channels through which to receive marketing messages. They are selling perfection and many brides are buying.

This rise of the large extravagant weddings -- today's average affair costs $28,704 with 161 guests in attendance -- has been accompanied by an increasingly conspicuous concern with pre-wedding fitness.

Elizabeth Sussman, a 25-year-old account executive at CGI Group in Atlanta, took a 30-day "Fitness Boot Camp" program where she was one of six engaged women. She now works with a trainer to prepare for her May 2009 nuptials.

"The pictures are going to be around forever," she said. "I don't want to scrutinize a roll because I could've worked out."

Some grooms prepare physically for their weddings, but the pressure to do so seems much stronger on women.

A study from Cornell University published in the March-May 2008 edition of the journal Appetite found that 70 percent of women want to lose weight before they wed. Fitness magazine reported in their June issue that 83 percent do, and one-third of them, like Sussman, hope to drop 30 pounds or more. Neither study targeted a specific demographic or looked at men.

Extreme Dieting

More than half of the 272 women in the Cornell study said they would be willing to use extreme dieting methods to meet their weight goals. Most frequently, women skipped meals or took dieting supplements.

"Everybody's going to be looking at them from head to toe when they walk down that aisle and they have a vision in their minds of what they want to look like," said Pam O'Brien, Fitness executive editor.

The Fitness survey of 1,000 brides found that 1 in 5 would postpone their wedding if they didn't meet a weight goal, while 29 percent would move in with their mother-in-law if it meant reaching their ideal weight. Their report was called "Bridezilla Confessions."

"She's not just obsessed. She's monstrously obsessed," said Rebecca Mead, author of "One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding," a 2007 book that investigates the sociological side effects of a wedding industry, which began in the early- to mid-20th century and is now worth $161 billion annually to the U.S. economy.

"We think that the way we can best express ourselves is through what we buy," said Mead, a staff writer at The New Yorker.

The average wedding cost for 2008 has dropped slightly, to $28,704 from $28,732 in 2007, possibly reflecting a tighter credit market and rising prices at the pump that are making travelers more reluctant to burn gasoline. But the dip is minor, and big spending is hanging around for now.

Reinforcing Marital Transition

Mead writes that the transition into marriage is, in many ways, less significant than it once was. Many couples choose to live together, engage in premarital sex and become a part of one another's families before they consider making a marital commitment. Some brides force a dramatic transition.

"This need for there to be some sense of difference is very profound," said Mead. "Reshaping your body for the event could certainly be part of that wish to make it feel as if you're passing a milestone."

Women's rights activist Gloria Feldt, the former president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, links women's fixation on their bridal appearance to the residue of such traditional practices as the bride price or dowry system. She says there remains a cultural question surrounding marriage, even if it's a subconscious one: What are women bringing to the table?