Sign the "Ex-Hillary Fans For McCain" Pledge

Dear ex-Hillary fans who are showing their support for her by ignoring her call to support Obama and supporting McCain,

First, I'd like to congratulate you. You've asked yourself WWJMD and you've decided to vote against your own interests and principles while furthering Senator McCain's. Before you're allowed on the band wagon, we are asking you to sign the following oath. A McCain presidency will mean different things for different people, so we have tailored the oaths accordingly.

The McCain Loyalty Oath for Gays

I, _______________, pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...

• promise to protect "the sanctity of marriage as between a man and woman."
• commitment to banning federal recognition of gay marriage and domestic partnerships.
• commitment to the Army's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy because to "even reopen the issue" would be a "terrific mistake."
• opposition to gay adoption which he doesn't think is "appropriate."
• opposition to expanding the federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation.

As a gay person, I promise to apply McCain's principles to my own life and vow to...

• stop engaging in gay sex.
• never try to marry or adopt.
• enroll in a program to treat my homosexuality and "straighten" myself out, such as a "M.A.N.S. Journey" (Masculinity, Authenticity, Need Fulfillment, Surrender Journey).
• install nanny cams in my house to prevent any gay relapses.
• take responsibility for natural disasters*, including Katrina.

Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and his programs and I will not complain about my loss of civil rights. And I will continue to refrain from gay sex.

Signature ____________