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Durst: Common Voter

Comic Will Durst says that Republicans still cling to that cute Victorian credo that the only people savvy enough to vote are white male landowners with large areas of flea infested facial hair. What today, minus the muttonchops, are commonly referred to as Corporate CEOs.
 
 
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There's a pretty simple reason why Governor Pete Wilson is delaying the implementation of the Motor Voter Bill in California, which was passed by Congress over three years ago; besides being an utter and complete opportunistic sponge that is: it's a basic human response called "saving your butt." Republicans still cling to that cute Victorian credo that the only people savvy enough to vote are white male landowners with large areas of flea infested facial hair. What today, minus the muttonchops, are commonly referred to as Corporate CEOs. We, the employees, are merely banged up property and you wouldn't trust your frayed and cat clawed ottoman to vote, now would you? A nice civilized honey oak credenza perhaps. But nothing covered in gabardine. Its easy to see what the GOP is afraid of. If furniture starts to vote, how long before sitting is outlawed? Before you know it, uppity carpet runners will be demanding 100% organic underpadding. Woodwork will petition a PC end to the pejorative phrase "like its coming out of the woodwork". Picture frames will unite demanding a say in the prints they surround. Which could result in the orphaning of an awful lot of David Hockney canvases. Thus crashing the post-modern American art market. Perhaps now we can better understand his dilemma.