News & Politics

Durst: Wilson v. Clinton?

Durst on the Wilson v. Clinton campaign, "Projected onto the candidates malleable features will be holographic recreations of all the great American heroes; Teddy Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, Harriet Tubman all right, admittedly, a line will be drawn. But we can still expect virtuoso performances from two career politicians who if ambition were cheese would each resemble Switzerland. A title match the whole world yawns awaiting: Brie vs. Gouda."
So, Pete Wilson has decided he's running for President after all. To prove the seriousness of his animatronic assault, he's embarked on a five day announcement tour. Five days to announce? Can't wait for the two week speeches. "Just back from his month long wrestle with his conscience." He does have the best shot of all the Republicans to win the Presidency, since he's the only one who can out- chameleon Clinton. It promises to be a wacky race featuring disguises and masks and neo-virginal veils of innocence. Enough false fronts to turn the Grand Canyon into a Hollywood backstage. More cloaking devices than a Romulan fleet. Smokescreens that would turn David Copperfield greener with envy than Claudia Schiffer dancing with Cindy Crawford. Projected onto the candidates malleable features will be holographic recreations of all the great American heroes: Teddy Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, Harriet Tubman. All right, admittedly, a line will be drawn. But we can still expect virtuoso performances from two career politicians who if ambition were cheese would each resemble Switzerland. A title match the whole world yawns awaiting: Brie vs. Gouda.
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