Durst: Rebels Without a Clue
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In a time capsule regression to eleventh grade, the boys in Washington have decided to play chicken with America. In his weekly radio address, President Clinton warned the Republican Congress to back off the $245 billion budget cuts in Medicare, education and the environment -- or else. Or else what? Or else he would say real bad things about them next year. Of course, even if they do back off the $245 billion figure he will still say real bad things about them, but will smile a lot and rub their little heads with balloons so their hair stands up, and then they will all tap some keggers and party in George Stephanopolous' basement. Ace Dole, drunk on beer bought by Blazer Newt, is piloting his blistering souped up limo right at Streaked Lightning Bill whose back seat is jammed with old people who vote in Florida. Neither side shows signs of backing down and a showdown on that big bluff overlooking the mall is inevitable. I'm sure Hillary can be convinced to start it off waving a scarf like Natalie Wood in Rebel Without a Cause , but with these contestants and the welfare of the nation at stake, maybe we should call this one; Rebels Without a Clue .