Sen. John McCain: 'A Response to all Those Rotten Co**suckers Who Say I Have an Anger Problem'

Note from PEEK guest editor Joshua H: Jesus' General is one of the best, and most popular, satirists on the net. He is a perfect modern conservative -- he hates liberals, has an unerring loyalty to authority figures and his homosexuality is deeply repressed. I read him daily, to keep tabs on what's going on on the other side of the political spectrum, and recommend you do too.

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Once again, I am honored to have Sen. John McCain guestposting at Jesus' General. Please be kind in your comments. He said he'd shank me with a homemade shiv if anyone insulted him.

Thank you, General, for allowing me to use your electrical computing machine pamphlet again. I got a lot of positive feedback the last time I used it. I'm seriously considering selling the screw-type printing press I've been using. People just don't read the broadsheets I post at the tavern anymore.

Today, I want to write about all those rotten cocksuckers who are saying that I have a problem with rage. Problem? I don't see... What? Hold on. I have to talk to my electrical computing machine operator for a second.

God damn it Lieberman. I'll use the word, "cocksucker" if I want. I'm the god damned Republican nominee, you ass-licking toady. Now get your ass back on the electrical computing machine telegraph key thing and write everything I say. What? Yes, this too, you ignorant fuck. Want me to have Lindsey fucking Graham kick your whining little ass again? Do you want to be VP or not? Then write down everything I said and apologize to the General's readers.

[I'm very sorry! - Joe]

Ok, where was I?