DURST: Jesse and Strom: A Frightening Thought
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email.
Jesse Helms is now chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations committee. Oh goody, finally someone able to talk to Zhironvsky on an equal level. Under the rock. Without that embarrassing burden of rational thought to hold him back. Guys, Jesse is from North Carolina, where foreign relations means doing it with anybody who's not your first cousin.In South Carolina, the restrictions aren't so severe. Which explains Strom Thurmond. Strom is 94 years old; and is going to run for his six year Senate term one more time. People, do the math. Triple digits. Almost as old as Warren Christopher looks. Are you really serving the government when Willard Scott is wishing you happy birthday? He's already passing legislation through sense memory. As President pro tem of the Senate he's third in line for Presidential Succession, following Gore and Gingrich. That means he's 3 chicken bones away from the Presidency. If that doesn't frighten you, you should see about having your central nervous system reconnected to your brain stem.During the Roberta Acthenberg hearings, on the floor of the Senate, Strom said out loud in front of people holding microphones, "No decent heterosexual has ever engaged in sodomy." And to their credit, the Senate broke into laughter. He's 94 years old, he's probably engaged in sodomy by mistake. "Oh, honey, you sho' is tight tonite."